It has been a month since I last wrote. I basically forgot about this blog for a while. Things had gotten really busy. I work between 35-40 hours a week at Starbucks. I have friends now, more than I did before. I have a bunch of people I talk to at work, I have a few new friends I have made since I got here, and shockingly, I have a boyfriend now. We will talk about the boyfriend in a minute.
First, let me say that my girls are adjusting very well now. The oldest is doing so much better in school, her behavior is slowly improving and she is catching up to the rest of the class much faster than anyone really expected. I know most of this is due to the huge effort my mother is putting into her. My mother is a great person and she really didn't have to take on this huge responsibility but she did. I don't have the emotional fortitude to help my daughter the way she does. I don't have the patience or the compassion she does either. I'm very thankful to my mother for what she is doing with my daughter.
The baby is doing well too. She has become very attached me to since we got here. It is rather surprising for her, she usually doesn't have such a strong pull to anyone like she does to me lately. I think she is worried about when she will see me again. I can't blame her, my schedule is so out of wack that I don't even know when I will see her. However, despite that, she loves her daycare, she is happy here, and is finally potty training!!!
Things with the dad are good now too. He used to be so mean and manipulative. He would always tell me I was going to hell, that I was evil, that I would get what I deserve, blah blah blah. I sat him down and told him flat out that both of us need to stop. We have to work together for the kids, not fight each other every chance we get. The kids come first, and we have to put our petty differences aside and do what is best for them. It seemed to work, because now we are civil to each other. Sometimes he is almost nice! At least I know that the relationship I have with him is stable enough that we can work together for the best interest of the girls.
Ok, so now the boyfriend. About a month ago I received a message from this guy on one of the dating sites. He is not my typical type but at that time I wasn't really looking for anything and thought I would just talk to him and enjoy the conversation, never really expected to meet him in person ever. After a few weeks of talking, he asked me for my number. I gave it to him. We met in person a few days later and he was attractive, we had good chemistry, things went well. A few weeks of dating went by and then we made it "official". I think the main reason we did is because I told him I wouldn't have sex with him until I was his girlfriend because I don't want to have sex with more than one person at a time and I expect the same courtesy in return. After we made things official, we had sex. He was awful. We have had sex a few more times since then, things are getting better but they are far far FAR from good. He has a problem staying hard, which is absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. I have absolutely NO desire to do it with him again, but if you ignore the problem in the bedroom, he is a great catch. I just don't know how long I can ignore the problem. As you have been reading over the past year, sex is VERY important to me and having bad sex is worse than none at all. I guess it's a waiting game to see how it plays out. In the meantime, I am keeping my eyes open.
