It's been a while

So much has happened in the last month.  I feel remiss about not writing sooner.  I just don't think I was ready to express the great journey I went on this past month.  I've changed.  Significantly.  I don't know how, or why, or when it all really happened, but I recognize that I am a stronger person now.

So here is the catch up.  I finished off my summer 1 semester with a decent result, one A and one C.  Not impressive but stable.  Instead of taking a class in summer 2, I got to hang out with my girls and spend some quality time with them for three whole weeks.  It was amazing.  I recently rented out my house and they will move in on the 29th.  This way I don't lose the house and mess up my credit.  I moved to the other side of town to a nice apartment that is closer to work and school.  I'm thrilled about it.  It's the new start that I have been looking for.  The ex boyfriend will be moving out by the 27th.  Soon he will be out of my life forever.

Tonight my friend is taking me to Vegas.  We are going to spend five glorious days in Vegas without cell phones, just having fun.  I really need this vacation.  I need some time to relax and enjoy myself before the fall semester starts and the pressure is on.

So, about this transformation of mine.  I feel like I'm free of a dreadful curse.  I no longer need a man's attention.  I'm getting more and more confident in myself and I'm able to be alone now.  The real test will be when the girls are gone, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to keep this going.  I don't have this insane need to have a man in my life.  I don't feel isolated and lonely without attention.  I am being picky, and I'm taking charge.  I'm creating my own rules and sticking to them.  I don't let anyone push me around anymore.  This new confidence is partly from the ex boyfriend and partly from my friends, and mostly from me.  I'm growing up.  I'm off in the right direction.  Things are starting to fall into place.  The more I step back and let life take it's course, the happier I am.

I got a tattoo last week that reflects my new transformation.  It says "patience" on my left wrist.  It's a constant reminder of what I'm striving towards and how to get there.  I think it will always remind me of where I came from and the hard work it is taking me to become the person I want to be.  I have great hopes that one day I will be the woman I want to be.  Smart, confident, and passionate.  I want those three words to be the words people use to describe me.  Now, they say I talk a lot, I'm impatient, and I would rather not repeat the third.  This will all change.  Patience is the key.

Now, I plan on writing in this blog more often now that I have a direction to follow.  Hopefully it wont be all gloom and doom anymore.  I like this new me and I hope to explore the possibilities it brings me.