New Year, New Start

To begin, this is a new year.  2011, a time to start fresh, to learn from my mistakes over the past years and to use my knowledge to better myself and my situation.  Normally I would just make some lame resolutions and forget about them before I could write them down.  This year, thanks to the divorce and the new boyfriend, I vow to become a better person than I was last year.  I'm going to do everything I can to prove to myself that I'm not the person who repeats the same mistakes over and over again.

Since this is my first post, it will undoubtedly be the longest.  I need to give some sort of background into my life and why this blog is necessary to my new life.  I'm currently married, although my divorce should be final in a few weeks.  My soon to be ex husband was not the man for me.  I take partial blame, I let him walk all over me and I never stood up for myself.  I did love him and he did love me.  However, his daily mantra of "my way or the highway" finally got me to realize I wanted the highway.  I have two beautiful girls from my marriage with him.  Evelyn is the oldest at 5.  Liliana is my baby at 2.  I call them Evie and Lily for short.  They are a rambunctious team who can always make me smile and always make me mad.  My marriage taught me a lot about who I am and who I want to be.  It also taught me what I want for myself and what I want for my girls.  I have no doubts about what I want now and I have my marriage to thank for that.

As my blog title suggests, this is not just about my divorce.  I also suffer from major depression.  I had my first diagnosis when I was about 12.  My poor mother had the unfortunate luck to be single during my worst times.  I admire her for everything she did for me despite the crap I put her through.  I am on medication, that I take everyday.  It's a big deal if I miss a dose, because I'm on such a high dose that if I miss one it throws me off for a few days.  Not to mention, for about a week out of every month I turn into an emotional mess regardless of my medication.  It's a struggle to keep myself on the right track but I work hard at it and I'm proud of my progress so far.

The last part of my blog title says that I'm dating.  I'll get into that more later.  For now just know that I am seeing a guy that I really like.  He makes me feel normal.  I hope that things go well with him but I'm taking things one day at a time (or trying to at least). 

This blog is for me more than anything.  It is to document my progress over the next year and see how well I accomplish my goals and handle the three Ds, Divorce, Depression and Dating.  I hope by the end of the year to be able to come out of this journey a stronger, healthier, and better person.  Wish me luck.