I am discovering that I am not quite ready to date. I had a boyfriend for about a month and a half which ended badly and now my heart is telling me that I have found 'the one' but my head is telling me I'm stupid.
Why is it that I am so desperate for someone to love me? Here I am throwing myself at different men trying to get some love into my life. Despite the fact that I know EXACTLY what I'm doing wrong, I can't seem to stop. I'm not sure how to handle this. The selfish part of me wants to keep doing the same thing, scaring away guys by being clingy and overly emotional. The smart part of me knows I should blow off guys all together for a long time.
I'm pretty sure that the reason I keep throwing myself at guys is because I'm seeking positive attention. I want to feel that security I had for nearly a decade. It's a huge shock being single after such a long time in a committed relationship. So now that I know why I'm doing what I'm doing, what should I do?
I'm struggling with the healthy thing for me right now. I barely have time to devote to myself and my kids and here I am trying to bring a guy into the mix. I haven't done any homework, I haven't given my girls the attention they want, I haven't cleaned or done laundry in a while, I am not sleeping. What do I have to do to get through to myself! Why can't I break the habit?
Ok, game plan: Tell the new guy what's going on with me. Avoid men as much as possible. When I get the urge to talk to a guy, spend time with my kids or do homework instead. I think I will continue to see the new guy, but I need to put limits on the amount of time I devote to him. I think one text message conversation a day is enough, maybe one phone call too. One or two days a week together should be enough. Well, let's see how well my plan goes.
Wish me luck. Any advice would be appreciated too!
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