Hate is a strong word

I hate my ex husband.  I once loved him, but now I have nothing but hate.  How could the father of my children treat me so badly?  For the past few weeks he has been insulting me, saying everything he can think of to hurt me and poison me.  I tried to be the bigger person, I really did.  I didn't ever say anything mean back (ok, maybe once in a while).  Last night was the last straw.  He texted me asking to talk to the girls since he was leaving first thing this morning for Kuwait.  At first I didn't want to, but I wanted to do the right thing for the kids so I let them talk to him.  What shocked me was that they were more worried about talking to his girlfriend than to him.  I made a decision last night that I'm not proud of, but I"m sticking to it.  I will NOT let him talk to the girls until he appologizes to me.  I deserve so much more respect than he is giving me.  Until I get an appology, he can forget he has two little girls.  Besides, I found out yesterday from my oldest daughter that his girlfriend is pregnant.  Good for him.  That child will replace the two that he will never see again.  Hate is a strong word for a strong emotion.  I wish it would have been different.  I wish he would have been nicer to me, at least civil, but he couldn't do that.  So now I won, the girls are mine, and I'm never letting him have them again.