Feeling Lonely

So after that disaster of a failed relationship that I had a few weeks ago, I have been feeling how lonely I am.  I realized I only have one friend and she is even worse off than I am.  Her loneliness is contageous and the more she complains about being alone, the more I feel it too.  Since she is my only friend I am very reluctant to stop talking to her, but it's a catch 22.  If I ignore the only friend I have I will be lonely.  If I talk to her, I will still feel lonely. 

I realized why that first relationship failed, I was so desperate for it that I forced it.  The guy really isn't a good catch for me.  Yeah he is intelligent and attractive, but he doesn't like kids, he is never around, and isn't that great in bed.  Sounds like a real winner huh?  I think it was more the idea of him that I liked, plus the fact that he is the only guy I really know here.

Tonight my friend invited me to a bachelorette party.  I'm excited about it but worried too.  I don't really know anyone that is going and I'm worried that I'll end up alone all night.  I'm normally a very social person and can make friends quickly but I'm beginning to suspect that my depression is creeping back.  It's not exactly a great situation for me to be in but I'll make the most of it. 

So today is my day off from my wonderful job at Starbucks (note the sarcasm).  My stepdad has been home most of the morning and is driving me crazy.  I can't stand being in the same house as him, let alone the same room.  Alone.  It really upsets me and I am about to go lock myself in my room until he leaves even though it is extremely counter productive to what I need to do today.

I am supposed to finish my girls Halloween costumes today.  I have to sew them!  Keep in mind I have never sewed with a sewing machine before and may just end up doing it by hand if I can't figure it out.  I do need to find some chalk and draw out on the cloth what I want.  I'm so clueless on this stuff I swear.  Oh well, I gotta start somewhere right?

Well, I guess I should go get started.  Honestly, I'm more excited to go to work tomorrow than finish the rest of the day.  Come on weekend so I can work my ass off!