Starting Again

I am divorced.  It was official on Friday.  Thanks to my disasterous weekend and my terrible depression that hit me I forgot to mention it.  However, it's a new day, it's a new chance to start over.  I'm going to try and think of this as an opportunity to do what makes me happy.

I got back with the new guy that had dumped me.  He never really dumped me, I had just assumed it was over.  It turns out it wasn't so much my clingy behavior that freaked him out, it was the fact that I was letting what everyone else said about us ruin what we had.  I'm not doing that anymore.  We are going to do things according to us and no one else.  If they don't like it, too bad.  He makes me happy and I really think I could fall in love with him.  He's not perfect by any sense of the word and he has huge red flags but when I'm with him I don't really care.  Our relationship is going to be about fun.  As soon as things start to go bad, we will call it quits and move on.  Until then, I'm not gonna make this into something it's not.

So my ex (yay!  he is officially my ex!) is coming on Thursday night for the girls.  I'm pretty sure he is going to be staying the night but honestly I don't even care.  As long as he doesn't try anything with me it will all be ok.  He is going to drop off a lot of things that I accidentally gave him before the divorce and he will be picking up a few things that I forgot to give him.  It's not that big of a deal, as long as everything works out I don't really mind that he stays the night.  He will be leaving Friday and I will have all day Saturday and Sunday to myself to do school work and relax.  I'm actually really excited.  I honestly don't care if I see new guy this weekend.  I just want to catch up on everything and have fun.

Oh, the roommates are moving out this weekend.  I'm not sure how that is going to work but I'm kinda excited to have my house all to myself again.  I can do things my way.  I can keep the house clean, I can do whatever I want whenever I want and not have to worry about them leaving the lights on all night or not locking the door when they leave or their dogs destroying my house, or anything else that comes with roommates.  I will miss the extra income but it's not worth it.

So now is the start of my new life.  I'm finally divorced, I have my life going in a decent direction, and I've given up on trying to plan for my future.  I just need to take things one day at a time and go from there.  I need to focus more on school and my kids before I worry about boys.  I need to take care of me before I take care of anyone else.  I need to stand up for what I want and stop letting people take advantage of me.  I love this song that Michael Buble sings, "it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, and I'm feeling good!".

I'm feeling good.