Went Too Far

I went too far this time.  I was so upset and so enraged that I just snapped.  I found out that the recent ex-boyfriend had made another account on the dating site we used when we met.  I was so furious.  Here I was hoping we could eventually work things out and he was already moving on and dating other girls.  I did some really stupid things that I regret doing.  I literally turned into a psycho.

Once I realized I went to far, I just stopped.  Instead of trying to fix it (which is impossible), I just stopped.  I deleted all of his friends from my phone, from facebook, from everything I have.  I deleted all of his information too.  I called him one last time and told him that I would put the rest of his stuff in storage and leave the key at the front desk for him.  I just asked that he never contact me again.  Ever.

I'm so sad that it ended like this.  I realize how messed up I really am.  I can't believe the things I said and did.  I don't know why I reacted like that.  I don't know why I always react like that with him.  I'm just glad it's all over.  Now all I have to do is get all of his stuff in the garage and never open it again.

In other news, I need to get out of the house.  Fast.  I'm considering doing a strategic default on my mortgage.  It will save me a lot of money and a lot of time.  This house has too many memories, I feel like this house is the source of all my bad decisions.  I realize that it's not, I just look at it symbolically.  How can I ever feel free to move on with this house as an anchor?

So, in conclusion, I'm not doing so well today.  I think I really hit rock bottom.  Good news about rock bottom, the only way to go is up.....