Ok, so since I've started this blog I've had little epiphanies every other week. I guess this is the newest one. However, this one seems to resonate more than the others. I think I have finally found the route cause of all my distress. I don't know how to be alone. I've been in a relationship of some sort for the past decade, rarely have I been on my own. Now that the divorce is final, the kids are living with their dad, and I have nothing but myself here (besides the boyfriend), I am reaching out to everyone with all the drama I can come up with just to stay in contact. It backfired, and now no one wants to talk to me because I have too much drama. I really need to learn how to be alone. I need to learn how to go through things without talking to someone all day. I will start small. I will not initiate texts with anyone, especially not the boyfriend. If someone does text me, I will not divulge personal information beyond the superficial. With that, once I get comfortable with those barriers, I'll move on to facebook and then to other capacities where I go too far. Once I put up those barriers, I can really start to explore myself and figure out what makes me happy. Hopefully this works. If not, at least I can stop pushing my friends away with all my drama.
Wish me luck.
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