Today has been rough. I'm going through some nasty Zoloft withdrawals because I keep forgetting to take my medication. I usually take it in the morning before work but since I have been working two jobs my schedule is all messed up and I am forgetting everything. I'm so depressed right now and it's no one's fault but mine.
I'm going to quit my second job. My last day will be Saturday. Why? School starts in less than a week and I need all my energy to do well in my classes. I need to pull up my GPA after last semester so that I can land a good job. Don't get me wrong, I had fun at the strip club, but I can't do that anymore. I'll probably do it again on the next big break between semesters just to supplement my income.
I find myself desperately seeking attention now. I think the reason I enjoy the strip club so much is that I get tons and tons of positive attention from men. When I go home I get absolutely NO positive attention. In fact, all I seem to get is negative attention. Of course I realize I shouldn't be dependent on any type of attention for my own personal happiness but it just gets old hearing nothing but negativity. Then again, who am I to talk? It seems all I spew out of my mouth is negative and depressing comments about my life. I know I have it better than most, but yet I'm not satisfied. I really am trying to be happy with my lot but it's so hard!! I wish I could flip a switch and become the person I'm meant to be. While I'm wishing for things, let me wish for life to be easy!
Ok, enough of my rant today. It's pathetic to realize that I have nothing but complaints about my life. I need to do some more soul searching.
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