I'm having a really tough day today. Yesterday my phone got cut off and I don't really have any money to pay the bill. I worked at AT&T yesterday 7.5 hours, then went to the club for 7.5 hours. I worked a total of 15 hours yesterday. I slept a total of 1.5 hours before coming in to AT&T this morning for another 7.5 hours. After this I'm back to another 7.5 hours at the club. In between, I need to cash my paycheck, pay my phone bill and get the service turned back on, turn in my cable equipment before they charge me for it, make my mini skirt for work with no sewing machine so I have to do it by hand; and I only have 6 hours to do all this and catch some sleep before going in to work. Needless to say I'm very cranky.
This morning when I got home at 415 I crawled into bed with the boyfriend and I just wanted to cuddle. He got all pissed off that I woke him up. I was mad. How dare he get pissed off that he has to wake up 30 minutes early while I worked my ass off all night on my feet for shitty tips. I work 15 hours a day with no sleep, he works 8 hours if that. I realize now that I may have been overreacting, but is it so much to ask for some damn sympathy?
Second and more important news: I had a big fight with the ex today. I mentioned that he is thinking about moving back here. I was talking to him today about it and I asked him why he wouldn't do it. Anyway, to try and convince him to move here I said it would be better if he moved here so that we could all be in the same area instead of me just taking the girls and leaving. He was shocked. I think he actually thought I was going to let him keep them. I have NO intention of just handing them over to him for good. They are girls, they need their mom way more than they need their dad. We got into a huge fight over this and he wants to take custody away from me. He is refusing to let me talk to the girls or see them. He said he would call the cops on me if I tried to take them away. He seems to be forgetting that I have two documents in my favor. One is the custody agreement and the other is the temporary custody agreement that we wrote stating that he will have TEMPORARY custody until June 2012. I'm not going to stress about it right now. The girls are safe, I know they are in good hands and they are not in any danger. In seven months when I graduate, I will find a good job and start preparing for them to return. I will sign them up for school, find a pediatrician, get health insurance for them, have everything ready for them to come live with me. Then, if he does try to fight me, I can show that I provide the better home since I have a steady job that makes way more than his minimum wage job. I will have everything the girls need to be happy and healthy. If he tries to take me to court I will remind him that I have two documents in my favor, plus the fact that I have a better living situation, along with the fact that he has a faulty CPS claim against me, and on top of that, I"M THE MOM!! I'm not worried. He doesn't have the money to take me to court and he knows he wont win.
I never thought I would have these problems with him. He is such a good dad, I should have expected him to put up a fight. He loves those girls more than anything. I'm willing to give up my dreams to stay here and keep us all in the same town, he needs to meet me half way. I refuse to make all the sacrifices anymore. If he doesn't move here, I'm taking the girls wherever my job is and he will have to deal with it.
This is not a good day. I am so overwhelmed I dont know what to do.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to sit down with you and talk about some things that I have learned in my fight for custody. If you want to make sure you have primary custody of your girls, the time to act is NOW and not over a year in the future, because the longer you wait, the more you risk not winning in court. You can tell me to go away and I completely understand if you don't want me in your business, but I don't want to see you go through what's happening to me if having your children with you is truly what you want.
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